I have started this post many times in my head. I go back and forth about how much or how little to share of our journey. At some points I think "that's way too personal to share" and at other points I think "yes, it's painfully honest and personal, but it's truth and it's fact and it answers a lot of people's questions." I'm still not sure where exactly the line is, but I guess I just go with the flow. The main purpose of this blog was to give us a place to release some of the emotions, joy, excitement, frustration, anger that is all to common when struggling with infertility. Yes, I realize that I have a few readers, maybe more than I know, but the main purpose isn't to inform my readers, but to reflect on what we're learning in hopes of possibly reaching out to someone struggling in the same way or even just struggling.
With that being said, I feel like I have a lot to share. THe last week has kind of been a whirlwind of activity on the Baby front. After last weeks appt, we found ourselves feeling a little disappointed. With the new medicine (Repronex) we were hoping for better results than a 9mm follicle. I am amazed by how much more hope the doctors and nurses often have that we do ourselves. It seems like I'm always reminded of who is in charge of this and for that I'm thankful. I'm only sorry that I forget so easily.
I found myself praying so much over the last week. Not that I don't normally pray about our baby journey, but I guess it's been more at the forefront of my mind lately. From the beginning of this cycle, I told Heath I felt differently about this cycle. Felt like it was different somehow and that I was feeling very positive and hopeful about it. I guess in the grand scheme of things, that doesn't mean a whole lot except that maybe, just maybe, I am finally learning to trust God. Which I personally think has a lot to do with why we are on this journey in the first place.
At any rate, this Tuesday I had another u/s and bloodwork that proved to be really good. There was finally some growth and I was showing a 14mm, 13mm, and 2- 12mm on the right side. For me that is excellent since we've never seen much over 10mm. I breathed a sigh of relief when they said 14mm. Yipes and Yay! Even then, knowing that it didn't insure we would get where we wanted to be, I came home so excited that we were getting somewhere new and pushing that much closer to our little miracle. Wonder of wonders, Heath left his phone home that day, so I had to wait to tell him. Only I couldn't wait, so I tracked him down on his brother's phone and told him the good news at lunch time. To say the least, I was WAY more excited then him. Come to find out, he didn't realize those were the biggest we'd ever had. And, he's male... so I think they handle it way differently than us emotional females. Ah well! Tuesday I took the last 75iu of Menopur I had and supplemented with 75iu of my Gonal-F. Wednesday took all 150iu of Gonal-F.
I headed back for an u/s and bloodwork on Thursday where we found out that our potential babies had grown to about 14.5mm. Not much really. I left a little hopeful but more disappointed really thinking that things were going back down hill. Dr. Dodds prescribed another couple of vials of Repronex and sent me to Keystone Pharmacy to pick them up. I had sworn off this pharmacy because of all the trials I had last time with the getting the right meds and all of that, but since I was in need of the meds and they are the only ones in the area to carry it, I gave in. Turns out they don't stock Repronex, but Menopur. They are pretty much an interchangeable drug and I had taken both of them on this cycle so no biggy. When Dr. Dodds originally prescribed Menopur, our insurance denied coverage, so I was kinda bummed that I would be needing to pay full price instead of 50% for the Menopur, but again, didn't really have a choice. They got it all ready, rang me up and charged me $165 for the 2 vials. Steep, I know... oh the things we will pay for to hold a precious bundle... well worth it, I'd say! Just for kicks and giggles, I double checked that they had run it through insurance. NO! They hadn't... I figured that was pretty standard. I asked them to and again wonder of wonders... well, or maybe God's hand every step of the way, they did cover the meds, so it ended up only being $95 instead of $165. PRAISE THE LORD!!! Oh and did I mention, that Dr. Dodds wrote off not 1, not 2, but 3 U/S and bloodwork? That saved us over $750 this cycle! Praise God for awesome doctors!
Anyway, went home with a plan to take 75iu of Menopur and 75iu of Gonal-F for the next two nights with another U/s and bloodwork on Saturday to see where we were. Unfortunately, and excitedly instead we got a call from Dr. Dodds... my estrogen levels were looking so good that I took 75iu Menopur and 150iu Gonal-F on Thursday night and was able to take my Ovidrel to force my body to release the egg(s) on Friday morning. Which meant that TODAY we were able to do our IUI... where they inject Heath's sperm directly into the uterus around the time of ovulation to basically make sure that the sperm and egg are exactly where they need to be at the right time. I'll write more on that later. Praise God for His perfect timing, His ever present hand on our life, and the amazing doctors and nurses who have the knowledge to help us.
Needless to say, I believe that my feelings at the beginning of the cycle were for a good reason. I realize that an IUI doesn't guarantee pregnancy... God still has to speak that miracle in existence. But, I am encouraged because whether this IUI transitions into a successful pregnancy or not, we have learned much more about my body and just how it reacts to the meds, and because after too many shots to count, way more tears than we ever wanted to shed, and an over-abundance of doctors appts and procedures, we finally feel like we're getting there.
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