I've been thinking a lot lately, I guess that goes without saying. Ha ha! But it's what I've been thinking about that I want to get down on paper lest I forget the special things that have gone on over the last few weeks. Precious things that I never want to forget or take for granted. Things I want to remember about our baby journey no matter what the outcome.
I want to remember...
The catch in Dr. Leach's throat as he wished us the best after our embryo transfer
The sweetness of my husband as he cared for me. The meals he made, the way he woke me just on time for my medicines, the way he tucked me in all comfy after our egg retrieval with a kiss on the forehead. The way he cleaned up the house the way I would have had I been able, even though it's not the way he would have necessarily.
The friends who brought meals to us. Some who have been where we are and knew what it felt like and others who just cared because they loved us.
The two sweet girls who crocheted me a necklace and string.... and loaned me their seasons of Little House on the Prairie to fill my time while on bedrest.
The leader of our small group and his wife who joined us in our bedroom after our embryo transfer and surrounded us with love and prayer. Yes, to some that may seem strange that they joined us right there on our bed and prayed with us over our little babies, but to us, it was just as it should be. Our small group that has become family.
The many people near and far, those who know us and those who have just heard of us, who have been bathing us in prayer. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about how many people are crying out to our Lord on our behalf.
The gentleness but firmness of my husband as he administers my shots each night... in a very sore bum scarred with several injection wounds. Ahh, it must be love! :-)
The excitement of our family and friends at what this next few weeks may hold for us, and there reserve at what it may not.
The glimpses and calmness of peace that surrounds us when we are reminded of what an awesome God we serve who has the ability to move mountains. He's got this!
The fact that we have 6 little embryos waiting for us in the future. So whether we achieve pregnancy this time or not, we have another chance.
The feeling I had when I knew that I was producing eggs. It was excitement and amazement and almost a sense of pride that I was responsible for those little eggs. It was kind of scary knowing that potentially I could encourage or hinder them dependent on what choices I made for myself. It is, I imagine, the way it must feel to be pregnant and know that you are responsible for the health of the baby that you carry.
That even though my body hurts from being poked and prodded over and over, it was well worth it. Granted, it's not the normal way of going about getting pregnant, but what a blessing it is that there are ways for couples like us to start a family.
That I am blessed. No matter what happens or doesn't happen, I am and forever will be blessed.
That this is not the end, or the beginning, it's just what's right now. Yes, it may impact our future, but I have to live moment by moment for Christ, not me or what I want.
That this too shall pass. The pain, the emotions, the heartache, and frustrations will all pass, but the blessings, the love, the prayers of support, the strength of our Lord... those are never changing.
That whatever the next few weeks bring, my Savior is holding me. Nothing can befall me that has not made it through His loving hands first. His plan for me is the best thing for us and I can't help but praise the Lord that He is creating a pretty bright future for us, baby or no baby.
So there you go, some things I've been thinking about, reminding myself of, praying for. The things I want to never forget about our journey.
No comments:
Post a Comment