There have been times in this journey where I think that I can't take another upset. If you are struggling through infertility or have in the past, then you know those times I'm talking about.

This past weekend was one of those times. As we sat in the exam room waiting for the nurse to do our U/S, Heath grabbed my hand and quietly and with great emotion we prayed that the Lord would work in the situation. I remember feeling a peace about the situation in that moment even though I had no idea what we would find. I do remember having doubts and I guess that stemmed from so many other times of hoping for a good report and not getting one. For whatever reason, although I did feel peace, I didn't think the report was going to be what we had hoped for. Call it a woman's intuation...

It is a frustrating thing to sit on the table and hope only to hear that there really isn't much going on. And it's in that moment that I wonder if God even heard our plea for encouragement. It's in that moment that I consider just how many times I can feel let down and discouraged. And yet, It's in that moment that I have no choice but to rest in the promises that He's given us. The ones that say "I will never leave you or forsake you". The promises that remind me that His timing is perfect. And the promises that allow me to bask in His never ending love... despite my doubts, my sin of unbelief, and my anger that things can't be as easy for us as they are for others.

Friday was just an all around rough day. It goes without saying that we cried... a lot. It goes without saying that it was a struggle to press on and complete my job for the day. I will admit though, that I was almost glad to hear from Dr. Dodds that he wanted us to cancel our cycle and wait for the next one to do something different. I guess really, I was getting to the end of what I could emotionally handle. Each of the four times we went in, I felt more discouraged and more doubtful. I was actually glad that we could take a break from that discouragement and try a different route that perhaps would show different results.

I know that most people would look at infertility as a curse. I'm not discrediting that... I certainly don't enjoy the battle we are fighting and I wouldn't wish it on anyone... but I am thankful for what the Lord has been faithfully teaching us through it and I am thankful for the opportunity that I have almost daily to reach out to others. It is a privilege and I do feel quite humbled that the Lord would allow me to be used to encourage others in the same situation. To be quite honest, there really is no other good reason for infertility to be in existence, than for the Lord to be glorified in our struggle.

If you are struggling through infertility, please don't give up! Please realize that there are others who are right there with you. While our stories may have different circumstances and very different endings, there is still a common ache in the hearts of couples with empty arms. Don't forget that we have a loving Heavenly Father who has something up His sleeve just for us. And it's something good. There is no promise in the Bible that says that our dreams of being parents will be realized, but there are promises abounding! Never lose hope... God can take the most impossible situation and make it into a perfect little miracle. In fact, I believe that He is most glorified when He accomplishes those complex fertility and pregnancy issues. He is the ultimate healer, so no matter the obstacle, He is very capable! Praise God for His abounding mercies and ever present love, his hands that hold us, and his arms that protect us from the weight of this struggle.