I'm A Survivor!

No, I am not joining the ranks of those "reality" stars on Survivor, and I'm not celebrating my journey through cancer, but I am celebrating my survival of yet another Mother's Day as a Childless couple.

I need to preface this post by saying that the last post I made was published very early in the morning on a day that we as childless couples struggle with every year. Yes, I realize that it's not about me. Yes, I realize that we have two mother's and two grandmother's to celebrate, and we did. And Yes, I realize that someday it will be my turn. Having said that, I want to make sure you realize that I in no way was down playing the day that was set aside to honor our mother's and grandmother's. And I in no way intended to deflate your balloon's of joy in your family. Instead I have found over the past couple years that this blog is an outlet for me. A way for me to vent my frustrations and my struggles. A place of healing for our aching hearts and a place to feel safe and not shot down for the spectrum of emotions that an infertile woman/couple faces. I do apologize if I put a dooms day feel on your Mother's Day. It was not my intent or desire in the least.

I; however, am a survivor of the day. No, I'm not a Mother. No, I didn't make it through the sermon without a couple of tears. No, I didn't dodge my sweet niece with a carnation for me. But, I did survive. I can think of only one thing that allowed me joy on this day. Well, maybe two... first and foremost, God's strength... the ability to come through the day with a smile on my face. The strength to celebrate my mother's and our sweet friend Kara, who for the first time in their 8 year journey through infertility can REJOICE because very soon, she will be a mother. Praise God, for his Faithfulness. I can honestly say I've never felt His Strength like I did yesterday. I am overwhelmed even today as I write this, because I can't believe that He loved me enough to give me the strength to press through something so difficult. And the second reason is my amazing godly husband. I don't deserve his love or his thoughtfulness, but I am so thankful for the way that God brought Heath into my life. I know that although my pain is very obvious, his pain stems from seeing me in pain. He did all he could do to make my day joyful even in little ways he probably doesn't even know. Thank you, Sweetheart!