I'm struggling with words here... I know what I'm feeling, but I don't know how to speak.

I had an ultrasound yesterday. A follicle study, to be exact. The reason: to find out if my body is producing but not releasing matured eggs; or if my body is not producing matured eggs. I went into the ultrasound rather apprehensive. I was feeling like the results wouldn't be good, that there would be no eggs, but I was also feeling hopeful that the results would be good. I got there early and I sat in my truck, praying that God would calm my heart, that I wouldn't cry, and that I would accept the results.

I am so thankful. God did answer prayer and also worked some things out that were unknown to me. For instance, Dr. Pete was at a medical conference, but the U/S tech was very professional and caring and I was glad she was there. In a normal every day U/S room, the technician can give no results to the patient. Instead they send the info to the doctor and they read the results. Which in this time crunch (because we need to be able to know when I'm ovulating so we can time things appropriately) is kind of important. God knew all along that Dr. Pete was going to be at a conference until Monday. After almost tearfully (but not, so another answered prayer) explaingin the situation to the technician,she talked with one of the other doctors on staff and was able to give me some results. I did not cry in front of the office staff, but my face must have been extremely readable (I was very close to crying), so the sweet tech pushed me to the front of the line so I was able to get done more quickly.

The results: There were multiple follicles on both ovaries, which is good, but they were only 1mm in size and should have measured closer to 11-12 or so in order to be 15-17 in 3 days. So... that means, all along, as we feared, the Clomid has not been working. I don't know what is ahead. I will meet with Dr. Pete again next week to go over the results and see where we go from here. It could be that we adjust the dosage of Clomid. It could be that we try a different drug.

Until then, I am thinking and praying....Feeling quite down.