7.08.2010
Be Strong in the Lord
Next week Wednesday, we will be filling in as youth pastor (and wife) for the Grace Youth Group. Pastor Karl and Jess with Evie and Anthony are moving to South Carolina to complete their schooling. While Grace looks for a new youth pastor, they have asked us to serve as the interim leader. We are excited. But to be quite honest, I am feeling a little bit unprepared to carry out this role. I know that because the Lord is allowing us to fill in, he will equip us with all that we need to reach the students and be a light to them, but I'm still a bit uneasy. That is just my own pride and fears coming in. Something I need to put behind me and step forward knowing He is my strength.
Last night was the last time that Pastor Karl would speak with the students. Heath and I attended the meeting, to be introduced (although we already know most of them)and to accept the passing torch, so to speak. It was a tearful night... many heavy hearts. We are so excited to see God moving them, but not excited that it's away from us. He gave the students a challenge and I thought it fitting to express the way in which the challenge hit me. The challenge was based on the song "The Words I Would Say" by Sidewalk Prophets. Here's what he challenged, from my point of view... based on what Heath and I are dealing with. Pastor Karl's challenges came from the words of the chorus.
Be Strong in the Lord
Throughout this journey we've been very aware of the fact that our strength is not enough. There is no person in this world strong enough to walk through the hurt and emotional pain that infertility causes. No, our strength comes from the Lord. With his strength, we press on. Not only are we gaining strength from Him to get us through this journey, but we are growing stronger in Him... learning more and more about Him and his plans for us and our family. Our faith has become stronger than ever as we rely on HIM to pull us through and come out victoriously on the other side.
Never Give Up Hope
There is not a set of words more pertinent to our situation than these. We have to constantly remember that He has a plan for our lives. We must not lose hope, we must not give up, we must only put our faith in Him and keep pressing on.
You're Gonna Do Great Things, I Already Know
We may get caught up in what we don't have, but it's important for us to always remember, that God sees the big picture. Frustrating sometimes to know that we can only see here and now, but comforting to know that God already knows what GREAT things He's going to allow us to do and what GREAT plans He has for our future.
God's Got His Hand on You, So Don't Live Life in Fear
No matter what the journey is that you are on... there is no reason to fear. When we worry over our situation, something that I am really good at, we are saying to God that He's not able to handle it. There is nothing farther from the truth. He is the Great Healer, the Protector, the Comforter, the Shepherd, our Loving Father, and our Faithful Guide... there is nothing too big for Him and He is constantly holding us... constantly providing little things that we often take for granted. Don't fear, He's got it covered!
Forgive and Forget, but Don't Forget Why You're Here
That may be one of the things we forget the most... why we're here. My sole purpose in life is to glorify God. He may send things my way, like infertility, that we wouldn't wish on anyone, but I can still Glorify God through that situation. That's why I'm here... that's the only good reason why Heath and I would be dealing with infertility... so that through it others may see our Awesome God and glorify our Father in Heaven.
Take Time to Pray and Thank God for each Day
That's one thing that Heath and I are still learning... the prayer part. We pray often regarding our dreams of having a baby. Our prayer is always that he would grant us our desires, but also that we would be glorifying Him and that we would be patient for His perfect timing. But I wonder... Do we really pray enough? Do we Thank Him for each day that we have? We have been so blessed to have one another and to be able to share this time, just the two of us. I LOVE that! I LOVE that I can selflessly pour myself into Heath and not have to be concerned with things that come along with being parents. At the same time, I long for that... what I don't want, though, is for us to become so wrapped up in trying to have a family that we forget to enjoy the days we have and thank Him for them.
Father God, you spoke to me through Karl's devo last night. God, I pray that you would continue to speak to me. Help me to listen and be ready to act on what I hear from you. I thank you for what you've already given us and I praise you for what I know you will bless us with in the future. In the meantime, as we wait on You, I thank you for the days we have now, just the two of us. I thank you for the time that we have to learn from other parents and to learn to love each other and you more and more each day. Please hold us closely to your heart in the painful waiting. We know there is no other place we'd rather be. We love you and we praise you!
Last night was the last time that Pastor Karl would speak with the students. Heath and I attended the meeting, to be introduced (although we already know most of them)and to accept the passing torch, so to speak. It was a tearful night... many heavy hearts. We are so excited to see God moving them, but not excited that it's away from us. He gave the students a challenge and I thought it fitting to express the way in which the challenge hit me. The challenge was based on the song "The Words I Would Say" by Sidewalk Prophets. Here's what he challenged, from my point of view... based on what Heath and I are dealing with. Pastor Karl's challenges came from the words of the chorus.
Be Strong in the Lord
Throughout this journey we've been very aware of the fact that our strength is not enough. There is no person in this world strong enough to walk through the hurt and emotional pain that infertility causes. No, our strength comes from the Lord. With his strength, we press on. Not only are we gaining strength from Him to get us through this journey, but we are growing stronger in Him... learning more and more about Him and his plans for us and our family. Our faith has become stronger than ever as we rely on HIM to pull us through and come out victoriously on the other side.
Never Give Up Hope
There is not a set of words more pertinent to our situation than these. We have to constantly remember that He has a plan for our lives. We must not lose hope, we must not give up, we must only put our faith in Him and keep pressing on.
You're Gonna Do Great Things, I Already Know
We may get caught up in what we don't have, but it's important for us to always remember, that God sees the big picture. Frustrating sometimes to know that we can only see here and now, but comforting to know that God already knows what GREAT things He's going to allow us to do and what GREAT plans He has for our future.
God's Got His Hand on You, So Don't Live Life in Fear
No matter what the journey is that you are on... there is no reason to fear. When we worry over our situation, something that I am really good at, we are saying to God that He's not able to handle it. There is nothing farther from the truth. He is the Great Healer, the Protector, the Comforter, the Shepherd, our Loving Father, and our Faithful Guide... there is nothing too big for Him and He is constantly holding us... constantly providing little things that we often take for granted. Don't fear, He's got it covered!
Forgive and Forget, but Don't Forget Why You're Here
That may be one of the things we forget the most... why we're here. My sole purpose in life is to glorify God. He may send things my way, like infertility, that we wouldn't wish on anyone, but I can still Glorify God through that situation. That's why I'm here... that's the only good reason why Heath and I would be dealing with infertility... so that through it others may see our Awesome God and glorify our Father in Heaven.
Take Time to Pray and Thank God for each Day
That's one thing that Heath and I are still learning... the prayer part. We pray often regarding our dreams of having a baby. Our prayer is always that he would grant us our desires, but also that we would be glorifying Him and that we would be patient for His perfect timing. But I wonder... Do we really pray enough? Do we Thank Him for each day that we have? We have been so blessed to have one another and to be able to share this time, just the two of us. I LOVE that! I LOVE that I can selflessly pour myself into Heath and not have to be concerned with things that come along with being parents. At the same time, I long for that... what I don't want, though, is for us to become so wrapped up in trying to have a family that we forget to enjoy the days we have and thank Him for them.
Father God, you spoke to me through Karl's devo last night. God, I pray that you would continue to speak to me. Help me to listen and be ready to act on what I hear from you. I thank you for what you've already given us and I praise you for what I know you will bless us with in the future. In the meantime, as we wait on You, I thank you for the days we have now, just the two of us. I thank you for the time that we have to learn from other parents and to learn to love each other and you more and more each day. Please hold us closely to your heart in the painful waiting. We know there is no other place we'd rather be. We love you and we praise you!
7.05.2010
Update on Round 3
I begin this post with a heavy heart. So far, this round of fertility treatments, our 3rd, is not showing positive signs of it working. While I have faithfully been testing for ovulation each day, it seems that my body has different ideas. No ovulation yet! Frustrating beyond all measure! I don't quite understand what I should expect or what I should feel. I guess I just expected this next round with the higher dosage to produce more positive results. Just because the test doesn't detect the LH surge that happens with ovulation, doesn't mean that I'm not ovulating...so there is still hope. I'm just disappointed that there's not a more sure way to get my body ovulating. We will wait another couple of weeks and if my body doesn't start a cycle on it's own, I will again take Provera and begin round 4 of our treatments. We see Dr. Pete in September, so it's likely that we will only get through the two cycles before we see him again.
As far as the side effects... I did have some pain in my ovaries but not unbearable and still experience some hot flashes... this time it is throughout the day rather than just at night as before. Also enjoyed some mornings of nausea for the first couple days of the meds. I will admit that I was expecting more with this higher dosage. While I am happy that things were bearable, I almost feel like if the side effects were a bit more unbearable, I would feel more positive that the meds were working. Don't know if that's the case or not, but that's how I think.
At any rate, that's what's ben going on with this round of treatments. Nothing to write home about, but we're not losing hope. I love it when Heath holds me as we cry and says "Don't lose hope, Babe! Don't give up... we will have a family!" He is my rock on this earth. My encourager. The only one I would want to be going through this with.
Father, we know that our timing is not always yours. We wait with open arms and softened hearts for the perfect timing that you have for us to become parents. We feel like we're ready, but we also know that you are the only one who truly knows when the exact best time is. Please help us to hold close to you and to one another and to glorify you in everything we say and do throughout this journey. We love you and we praise you for what you have already blessed us with and for what you will bless us with. Amen!
As far as the side effects... I did have some pain in my ovaries but not unbearable and still experience some hot flashes... this time it is throughout the day rather than just at night as before. Also enjoyed some mornings of nausea for the first couple days of the meds. I will admit that I was expecting more with this higher dosage. While I am happy that things were bearable, I almost feel like if the side effects were a bit more unbearable, I would feel more positive that the meds were working. Don't know if that's the case or not, but that's how I think.
At any rate, that's what's ben going on with this round of treatments. Nothing to write home about, but we're not losing hope. I love it when Heath holds me as we cry and says "Don't lose hope, Babe! Don't give up... we will have a family!" He is my rock on this earth. My encourager. The only one I would want to be going through this with.
Father, we know that our timing is not always yours. We wait with open arms and softened hearts for the perfect timing that you have for us to become parents. We feel like we're ready, but we also know that you are the only one who truly knows when the exact best time is. Please help us to hold close to you and to one another and to glorify you in everything we say and do throughout this journey. We love you and we praise you for what you have already blessed us with and for what you will bless us with. Amen!
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