Still Here, Still Strong!!

Dear friends, it's been a very long time since I've graced you with a post. Some of you may be thinking... yes, it's been quite refreshing to not have to hear Lisa's woes. Well, maybe so, but let me assure you, it's been quite refreshing to have quite a break from meds and doctors appts and disappointments that go along with cycle after cycle of non-success fertility treatments. Don't think that there haven't been times that I've started to post... but as strong as that desire was, the desire to wait, be still, and enjoy the break was much stronger.

(Big sigh) At the end of February, we had our first appt with Dr. Dodds at The Fertility Center and came away from it very encouraged, ready to begin, but then again hesitant at the same time. What was most encouraging was that we had a plan, no more guessing, although that was still part of the plan when it came to med dosages and such, but a plan for the most part just the same. Yes, we still had some time to wait... our money was not in place just yet, and well to be quite honest, we were tired and ready for a break. So anticipating our vacation to FL at the end of May, we decided we would take a much needed break, take time to be just the two of us, and time to be still and hear what the Lord had to say about our journey.

What did we learn? Well, what didn't we learn? We learned that things aren't always easy, in fact most times not, but ALL things are possible with Christ's strength. We learned that hope is not dead, it's not lost, and it's ok to HOPE in the Lord. We learned that no matter where our journey leads us, our deepest desire was not the finances to cover our baby costs. Our deepest desire wasn't that we would be able to start a family, or even that it would be quickly, but simply that we would be in His will each step of the way.

It's not easy to learn those things when you're wanting those very things so badly. It's hard to admit that we are so weak when it comes to being in His will... simply because it's hard to know where His will exactly is. This is what I do know... according to Jer. 29:11, He knows the plans he has for us, that they are good and not bad, meant not to harm us but to give us a hope and a future. I know that "He will never leave us or forsake us" and I know that when we put our trust and our faith in Him "He will grant us the desires of our heart". Praise you Lord, for your Word that speaks to us every day!

So where are we now? Well, here it goes! Today was our first U/S with the Fertility Center just to check everything out. I was confirmed healthy save for those pesky little cysts that remain on my ovaries thanks to PCOS. Can I just say, there is no place I think I would feel better about this experience? The nurses, doctors, all the employees are SO AMAZING and so knowledgeable and so supportive. It's great to know we are right where we are supposed to be. Starting Sunday, I will begin the injectable med Gonal-F. The purpose of the med is to encourage my little potential babies to grow, grow, grow so that when the time is right, my ovaries will release them, and hopefully we can get pregnant. To my knowledge, I have never ovulated, so you can imagine this is a pretty big deal to us. I'll take 75iu/day for 5 days and then next Friday we will head back for another U/S to see how my little babies are progressing. I don't feel nervous now about poking a needle into my tummy and injecting myself, but ask me Sunday and I think you may get a different answer. :-)From the second U/S, Dr. Dodds will determine if we need to increase meds or what to try to get them to the point that I can take another injection (Ovidrel) to release those babies. How long will it take? Not so sure. We will know more next Friday once we see how my body is responding to the meds. Until then, it's kind of a waiting game.

Heath and I have talked about this a lot. We feel like we are in the right place. Is it scary? You betcha! Are we nervous? More than we care to admit! Do we think it will work? Don't really know... but we have hope. We are trying to rein in the emotions... it's hard to really get your hopes up and then have them dashed... at the same time, it's important for us to remember that He gives us a hope and has a plan, even though our plan seems like a guessing game sometimes.

Although I'm going to try to keep the posts updated... I can't promise that I will get into all the nitty gritty details. It's hard to say right now, what will hit me or how things will play out. Perhaps, what we really need, is your prayer... please pray that we will remain faithful to our Father who has been so faithful through this all. Please pray that He would be the one to receive the praise. Lastly, please pray that we would remain strong in the Lord and the power of His might!