There once was a man who was very business minded. God gave him all that he needed to make his life and that of his family's very successful in the business world. In an instant, though, his business and all that he owned was burned up in the Chicago fire. Low and unsure what to do, he began to re-build his businesses and over the course of a few years God had blessed him once again with success. This time his "empire" if you could call it that, was even larger than before, greater than he could ever have dreamed. His family had grown by then... he was blessed with three daughters and a beautiful wife. Knowing that he had put a lot of time and energy into his business, he decided to take his family on a vacation. They would travel across the seas and land in Europe to spend some time traveling with friends. The day they were to board the boat, something came up at one of his businesses that he had to take care of before he went on vacation. Being the great man that he was, he didn't want to keep his ladies waiting so he sent them on ahead with plans to meet them shortly. They boarded the boat, he headed back to town and they were off. A couple of days later he received word that the boat that his family was on had run into an English ship and sank in the ocean within 7 minutes. All three of his daughters drowned, only his wife survived. He boarded the next boat to go meet his wife and on the ride over, the captain, knowing the distress in the man's family, called him to the upper deck. They were at that time, directly over the place where his daughters lost their lives. Feeling alone, he headed back down to his quarters, but it was then that God gave him the words to the song that we know so well "It is Well"... the man I speak about is Horatio Spafford. He made a decision that day... not only did he believe in God, but he Believed God. He knew that day, that despite his struggles, despite losing his daughters, God still had a plan and that God's plan was much better than any of our plans. When the storms of life were threatening to destroy him, he rested in the fact that God was in control and that because of that All was well in his soul.
I am challenged today to think about that. To remember that belief in God is not the same as believing God. Believing God is putting your trust in Him. It's knowing that God's plans are better than my plans and His ways are better than my ways. It's giving him complete control of every area of my life. And most of all it's believing that what He says he will do, He will do! His promises are promises... not like a promise that we give that we may or may not fulfill... it is PROMISED! No stipulations, no pre-requisites. no hesitations. He has a plan that will make us prosper. Belief in God, on the other hand, is simply acknowledging that there is a God and maybe even that He's up to good, but not really trusting Him completely to be able to handle our lives...I wonder, do we always believe God, or are we sometimes only believing IN God?
Father, You are amazing. You always know exactly what I need to hear. Help me to remember that while I wait for a child to fill my arms, you are already planning, maybe even knitting together that child. You have things underway and from your point of view, everything looks clear and the fog and storms of my life are non-existent. Thank you for always holding me right where you want me, for leading me, and for giving me the strength to follow You through the fog and storms of life. I love you so much!
3.24.2010
3.22.2010
Just A Note on Patience...
We were driving by a sign the other day on our way to the mechanics shop to pick up our car. The sign was on a little white country churche's board out front. It said "Patience is waiting without worrying!" Grrr! Isn't it funny and quite amazing how God puts what we need to hear the most or learn the most right in our paths. He has the most perfect way of reminding us about the things that are important. Ironic too that we were headed to the mechanic to get my car, and it wasn't fixed so we ended up waiting 1 1/2 hours at the mechanics while they took a "few" minutes to repair it correctly! Strange how that works...
In our baby journey so many times I have worried. We worry as we wait for the doctor to call, we were anxious as we went into surgery, and as we awaited the results. We wait, right now, to see how my body responded to Clomid and whether our efforts this month will produce the desired outcome. Through it all, I'd like to be able to say that we've had patience... but if patience truly is "waiting without worrying"... I'm pretty sure we don't have the patience thing down.
Why do we worry? Well, that's pretty simple. I worry because I know that we serve a pretty awesome and powerful God, who is capable of blessing us with a child, but who also knows what's best for us. I worry that what He knows is best for us, might not be what we want. We worry because it's hard giving up control, even to someone who is so much more capable of controlling our lives than we are. Finally, we worry because our heart's are heavy and our arms are empty.
Lord, please allow us in the weeks and months ahead to give you complete control. Teach us to wait without worrying. To put our trust fully in you knowing that you are more than capable to sustain us through this journey. You are amazing and we love what we can see you doing even now. We love you and we will wait for your perfect plan and perfect timing!
In our baby journey so many times I have worried. We worry as we wait for the doctor to call, we were anxious as we went into surgery, and as we awaited the results. We wait, right now, to see how my body responded to Clomid and whether our efforts this month will produce the desired outcome. Through it all, I'd like to be able to say that we've had patience... but if patience truly is "waiting without worrying"... I'm pretty sure we don't have the patience thing down.
Why do we worry? Well, that's pretty simple. I worry because I know that we serve a pretty awesome and powerful God, who is capable of blessing us with a child, but who also knows what's best for us. I worry that what He knows is best for us, might not be what we want. We worry because it's hard giving up control, even to someone who is so much more capable of controlling our lives than we are. Finally, we worry because our heart's are heavy and our arms are empty.
Lord, please allow us in the weeks and months ahead to give you complete control. Teach us to wait without worrying. To put our trust fully in you knowing that you are more than capable to sustain us through this journey. You are amazing and we love what we can see you doing even now. We love you and we will wait for your perfect plan and perfect timing!
3.08.2010
We Press On
Tomorrow is day 1 of Clomid. I am an emotional basketcase... I have never experienced the crazy emotional roller coaster that I am facing now. First with the Provera, then my cycle starts, then the fact that tomorrow we start another med. I can't even put into words the emotions that roll through my head. I spent most of yesterday in tears. It was embarrassing... people just had to say, "Lisa, how are you?" and I'd burst into tears. Grrr! For real! I didn't really want to go to church yesterday... not at all. I am thanking God today for my husband. He made it so easy to submit. He didn't tell me what to do, but then he didn't have to, he just had to point out what the right thing to do was... go to church. And so we did... it wasn't easy, it was very emotional, but I needed to hear the sermon and I look back now and I know I am blessed for having done what was right.
Can I just say... I have THE most amazing husband ever. He may have been frustrated, probably was... he may have felt like his hands were tied, probably were... but he stood by me with his quiet way of reassuring me that I am not a freak. The way that only he can do. With his hand resting on my shoulder, rubbing gently, he loved me through the entire day. Goodness, gracious, he deserves a gold medal!
We press on. We don't know what the next few months hold. We are unsure if our dream is close or still a ways off, but we press on, knowing that HE knows exactly where we are and where we will be. HE knows what tomorrow holds and HE holds us. Check out the video that is my theme song right now... Press On by Selah!
Father, right now, when I don't have the words. When tears stream down my face for reasons that I can't express, You Know! Please help me to continue to feel your love. Let me continue to press on, when I really just want to give in. Help me to never forget that you don't give us more than we can handle. Thank you, thank you, for the loving husband you gave me. He is an amazing godly man and I am so privileged! We love you and we are ready and willing for whatever you have planned for us in the future!
Can I just say... I have THE most amazing husband ever. He may have been frustrated, probably was... he may have felt like his hands were tied, probably were... but he stood by me with his quiet way of reassuring me that I am not a freak. The way that only he can do. With his hand resting on my shoulder, rubbing gently, he loved me through the entire day. Goodness, gracious, he deserves a gold medal!
We press on. We don't know what the next few months hold. We are unsure if our dream is close or still a ways off, but we press on, knowing that HE knows exactly where we are and where we will be. HE knows what tomorrow holds and HE holds us. Check out the video that is my theme song right now... Press On by Selah!
Father, right now, when I don't have the words. When tears stream down my face for reasons that I can't express, You Know! Please help me to continue to feel your love. Let me continue to press on, when I really just want to give in. Help me to never forget that you don't give us more than we can handle. Thank you, thank you, for the loving husband you gave me. He is an amazing godly man and I am so privileged! We love you and we are ready and willing for whatever you have planned for us in the future!
3.03.2010
We're on Our Way!
Goodness! It's been nearly a month since I last posted anything. So here it goes!
Dad Smith is now home from Metro Rehab! He has been home for almost 2 weeks and is doing therapy at Northern Physical Therapy everday of the week for about 3 hours a day. He's doing amazing and I think within the next couple of months he may be back to full strength and motion. He's getting antsy, but not giving up and continues to be very determined. For that we are very thankful and very encouraged. God has been faithful!
As for our baby story... we had our post-op appt with Dr. Pete last Thursday. Things looked really good and we still feel very hopeful. Dr. Pete prescribed 5 days of Provera to hopefully get my cycle going. Once that happens, we will start on Clomid, a fertility med to get me ovulating. I will take that for days 3-7 of my cycle and that will help us to time things right. Yeah!
We are excited and a bit scared. Especially when we think about the fact that 1 in every 75 women on Clomid have multiple births. Dr. Pete says it's very likely that we could have twins or triplets, and while that would be fun (and a handful), we would be just as satisfied with one.
It is hard to believe that we are finally here. Finally to the point that starting a family actually feels like a reality. It's as if it is in sight, but it still feels like it's just out of reach. Like it's something that we're really close to, but still something that we will always dream of and never have. I guess that's just our own doubts coming in. Our lack of trust and our fear of the unknown. We know that He holds the future. We know that He holds our hands and we know that He holds us. So we press on, praying that we would feel His presence and see His hand to guide us. He has been speaking to me in songs, in chapel messages, in other people. I am so blessed to be able to go through this and see His hand every step of the way. I know it seems like a joke to be blessed with such a frustrating, heartwrenching, journey, but truly our deepest hope, our one desire is that He will be glorified. As I look out over the past year, I realize that things are progressing just right (even though sometimes we want to rush things) and His peace is filling our hearts.
Thank you, Father, for your ever present reminders of your Love, Faithfulness, and Peace! We are forever thankful for this journey and the joy we know will come from it!
Dad Smith is now home from Metro Rehab! He has been home for almost 2 weeks and is doing therapy at Northern Physical Therapy everday of the week for about 3 hours a day. He's doing amazing and I think within the next couple of months he may be back to full strength and motion. He's getting antsy, but not giving up and continues to be very determined. For that we are very thankful and very encouraged. God has been faithful!
As for our baby story... we had our post-op appt with Dr. Pete last Thursday. Things looked really good and we still feel very hopeful. Dr. Pete prescribed 5 days of Provera to hopefully get my cycle going. Once that happens, we will start on Clomid, a fertility med to get me ovulating. I will take that for days 3-7 of my cycle and that will help us to time things right. Yeah!
We are excited and a bit scared. Especially when we think about the fact that 1 in every 75 women on Clomid have multiple births. Dr. Pete says it's very likely that we could have twins or triplets, and while that would be fun (and a handful), we would be just as satisfied with one.
It is hard to believe that we are finally here. Finally to the point that starting a family actually feels like a reality. It's as if it is in sight, but it still feels like it's just out of reach. Like it's something that we're really close to, but still something that we will always dream of and never have. I guess that's just our own doubts coming in. Our lack of trust and our fear of the unknown. We know that He holds the future. We know that He holds our hands and we know that He holds us. So we press on, praying that we would feel His presence and see His hand to guide us. He has been speaking to me in songs, in chapel messages, in other people. I am so blessed to be able to go through this and see His hand every step of the way. I know it seems like a joke to be blessed with such a frustrating, heartwrenching, journey, but truly our deepest hope, our one desire is that He will be glorified. As I look out over the past year, I realize that things are progressing just right (even though sometimes we want to rush things) and His peace is filling our hearts.
Thank you, Father, for your ever present reminders of your Love, Faithfulness, and Peace! We are forever thankful for this journey and the joy we know will come from it!
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